SCOTT SIMON, HOST:
Songwriting has always been a way for Sophie Allison to try and untangle her thoughts and make sense of her life.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "EVERGREEN")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) I don't wanna be that girl...
SIMON: The 27-year-old has been making music under the name Soccer Mommy since she graduated from high school. Her songs explore self-doubt, growing up and, of course, heartbreak. Not two years after her last album, Sophie Allison is delving into loss.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "EVERGREEN")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) I don't wanna be let down by another perfect memory. I don't wanna hear her name - evergreen.
SIMON: "Evergreen" is a snapshot of the quiet complexities of grief, the profound sadness that leaves space for feelings of love, healing, even joy.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "EVERGREEN")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) She cannot fade. She is so evergreen.
SIMON: Do you think of this album as telling a story?
SOCCER MOMMY: I think it tells a lot about a certain period of time for me. Compared to a lot of my other albums, it's less of a story. You know, it's less of a, I guess, journey from start to finish and more just kind of a lot of pieces put together.
SIMON: Well, let's jump right into some of the music. Let's listen to a little bit from your song "M."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "M")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) I feel you even though you're gone, and I don't mind talking to empty halls. 'Cause I miss you like a loyal dog waiting by the door to hear the lock turn.
SIMON: May I ask, is there someone, some number of people you're singing to in this song?
SOCCER MOMMY: Yes, but it's someone I'd rather not talk about. But, yeah, definitely. I mean, it's definitely about a specific thing in my life and losing someone and, you know, not having them there anymore.
SIMON: How are you doing?
SOCCER MOMMY: I'm all right. You know, it's been a couple of years since I've lost someone, but it hits you different all the time, I think, and you just kind of have to find a way to move forward.
(SOUNDBITE OF SOCCER MOMMY SONG, "M")
SIMON: Let's listen to something from the song "Changes."
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CHANGES")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) My mother's hair is colored by her age. The house is painted over. It'll never feel the same. And every time I come here, I'm further away.
SIMON: How did this song come about?
SOCCER MOMMY: This is actually the first song that I wrote for the record, but I had no idea it was for the record. I actually wrote it when we were still recording my last album. It was in a period of time where I was just being really reflective about things that have changed in my life over the years and looking back at when I was younger or, you know, seeing things in my current life that are different than when I was younger and kind of having a little bit of that discomfort of growing up and seeing things change all around you and wondering I guess what else is going to change in your life.
SIMON: Let me ask you about this next chorus if we could.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CHANGES")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) And I can feel the changes. I don't wanna face it. It's hard enough to know that everything will fade to memory in time.
SIMON: May I share something with you I've learned over many more years and lots of loss?
SOCCER MOMMY: Yeah, for sure.
SIMON: The memories we have, especially of those we love, actually get more vivid and intense.
SOCCER MOMMY: I agree, but it does change. You know, I think that time changes those memories into something. Maybe it's more of the beautiful is brought out. Maybe more pain is brought out. Memories do turn into things that, you know, are caricatures, I guess, of what they really are.
SIMON: Memories that came to you as you were writing these songs?
SOCCER MOMMY: Talking about that first verse, like, going to my parent's house and seeing, you know, just little differences - painting the walls or changing furniture. These kind of things that it's, like, that place that is so vivid in your memory is slightly changing and morphing. So that was one. And in the second verse, I'm kind of thinking about love, and you never realize that last time that you're really hit super hard by the feeling or by someone or anything like that. It just kind of fades away.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CHANGES")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) I couldn't taste that kiss now, even if I tried.
But also, at the same time, the verse kind of opens in this place of saying like, look at where it's left me. All of these things that felt so powerful at the time and felt like the entire world have now faded, and I'm here with something else completely, you know, different that I got from all of that.
(SOUNDBITE OF SONG, "CHANGES")
SOCCER MOMMY: (Singing) Look at where it's left me...
SIMON: Sophie Allison - Soccer Mommy - her fourth album, "Evergreen," is out now. Thank you so much for being with us.
SOCCER MOMMY: Yeah. Thanks for having me. Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.
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