National men's magazine GQ has released it's annual "Least Influential People" list for 2013, and some familiar faces made the list.
Florida Fourth Judicial Circuit State Attorney Angela Corey was listed ninth of 25 for her failed prosecution of former Sanford neighborhood watch volunteer George Zimmerman for the shooting death of unarmed teen Trayvon Martin in Feb. 2012.
GQ contributor and list author Drew Magary offered this faux Corey quote as her credential for inclusion:
"Ladies and gentlemen of the jury, we believe that George Zimmerman is guilty of second-degree murder in the shooting death of Trayvon Martin. Or manslaughter. Or if you don't want to go that far, how about assault? Jaywalking? If you could simply find him guilty of something so that we don't look like we just let America down, we'd really appreciate it."
Former University of Florida Gators football stars Aaron Hernandez and Jacksonville's Tim Tebow also checked in at numbers 7 and 12 respectively.
Here's an excerpt from Magary on Hernandez; the former Gator and New England Patriot star receiver is currently awaiting trial on first degree murder charges.
If you're a multimillionaire star athlete with a troubled family background, you're supposed to only pretend that you're an angel-dust-smoking murderer...You're not supposed to actually follow through on the persona.
Here's his take on Tebow, who made his first appearance as a college football commentator as part of a three year contract with ESPN during this week's BCS Championship Game.
His NFL career blissfully ended this summer when he was cut by the Patriots, presumably because he didn't murder anyone. And yet he remains ESPN's pet rock: a kind of Moral Superboy that the network can deploy whenever it senses your eyeballs wandering away from the screen. He is more valuable to the network as a nonplayer than as the Canadian Football League benchwarmer that he actually is. The less you see him bumble around on the field, the more Skip Bayless can turn his struggle into a kind of National Virtue Index.
Following the ESPN contract announcement, Tebow said he would continue to pursue a career as an NFL quarterback. You can see the complete list online at GQ.com.
You can follow Patrick Donges on Twitter at @patrickhdonges.