Is your to-do list overwhelming? Do the demands of family or work stress you out? Or maybe it’s politics, climate change, or global conflict that are making you feel anxious.
It's impossible to eliminate all your stress, but science shows you can learn to manage it better.
Over the last 20 years, Judith Moskowitz a research psychologist at Northwestern’s Feinberg School of Medicine, has been researching a set of eight skills and practices to help people increase positive emotions and decrease anxiety, even amid hard times. And she’s developed an online course to teach these skills, a kind of master class in managing stress.
“People can absolutely be taught to have positive emotions, even when things seem pretty bleak,” says Moskowitz.
She has documented this in her studies of people going through tough situations, such as caring for a spouse with dementia or living with Stage 4 breast cancer and other health problems.
Moskowitz is now launching a new research study. She wants to evaluate how the skills in the course can help people with everyday stress, the kind we all experience in our day-to-day lives. She has opened the course and study to anyone 18 and older living in the U.S.
Study participants will take a survey to gauge their levels of anxiety and positive emotion before and after the course.
One thing Moskowitz realized early on in her research is that even when they're going through hardship, people still want to talk about positive things, like seeing a lovely sunset or sharing a meal with a friend. And the people who notice more of these bright spots tend to cope better.
Moskowitz’s course can immerse you in these skills. Here’s a quick summary if you want to get started:
1. Positive events
We tend to fixate on the negative. So, try this: Switch your focus to something good today. It could be a beautiful sky, a delicious bite of fresh fruit, or a call from a friend.
Moskowitz is a coffee lover, so she suggests taking time to really enjoy that morning ritual, noticing the aroma and the feel of the warm mug.
When you pay attention to small pleasures, you may feel a shift to a sense of calm or comfort.
This is a simple concept, but it goes against our natural instincts. Humans evolved to pay attention to threats and problems. “That’s adaptive,” Moskowitz says. But don’t miss out on the good.
2. Savoring
Now that you’ve noticed a beautiful sky or delicious scent, take time to savor it. The goal here is to make the moment last. Say you’ve got great photos from a vacation or celebration, each time you look at them, you can re-experience positive feelings.
“Think of it as getting another hit of positive emotion,” Moskowitz says. You can savor a moment by simply remembering it, or you can write it down or tell someone else about it. This can amplify the positive feelings and give you an emotional buffer when stress and anxiety rise.
3. Gratitude
This one can feel like a platitude. I get it! But before you brush it aside, there’s a lot of research on the benefits. For instance, a recent study among women points to a potential longevity boost from feelings of gratefulness.
So, you can ask yourself this: If I had a list of all the things I’m grateful for, would it be long? Think of all the people, events and experiences that bring you joy. At first you may only think of a few obvious ones, but with practice your list can grow longer, as you notice more small things that enrich your life, Moskowitz says.
4. Daily mindfulness
You’ve likely heard this one before: To feel calmer, tune in to your experience in the present moment, instead of getting caught up in your thoughts. But you won’t see the benefit unless you actually take the time to practice it. One way is to focus on your breath. It’s a short-cut to get rid of the clutter in your mind. To try it: Find a quiet spot and take some slow breaths. As you inhale, let your belly expand. Make your exhales slow, about twice as long. Notice the way your breath feels in your belly as it rises and falls.
5. Positive reappraisal
When something unfortunate or unexpected happens, can you find a silver lining? It’s a familiar concept, but Moskowitz says it can pay off. One refrain she uses in her own life when something bad happens is: “It could have been much worse.”
Try it next time you have an annoying experience — say, you take your car in for repairs, and it’s not ready on time. Instead of getting mad, could you use the time to take that walk you’ve been meaning to get in? Or treat yourself to some quiet time? It’s not possible to do this in every situation, but it’s a good way to gain perspective amid everyday challenges, like losing your keys or missing the bus.
6. Self-compassion
Are you your biggest critic? If your self-talk is negative, that's a good clue. Many of us “hold ourselves to a very high standard that we would never expect of anyone else,” Moskowitz says. So, now’s the time to take the compassion you’d show to a friend and turn it on yourself. There are easy ways to try this. Take the time to do things that make you feel good, for example, or take a lunch break when you're hungry instead of putting it off. You can even try giving yourself a gentle hug now and then.
7. Personal strengths
In the midst of challenges and struggles, we can forget what we’re good at. So, the course offers up a technique to recognize your strengths, and take stock. Are you a good listener? Empathetic? Are you great at managing details? Knowing your strengths helps you stand strong amid challenges.
8. Attainable goals
If you know your strengths, it may make it easier to set goals that align with them. "The research on goal attainment shows that any progress toward a goal increases your positive emotion,” Moskowitz says. So, it’s worth pulling out a notebook and writing down some goals. “I find it extremely rewarding to cross something off my list,” says Moskowitz.
A growing field of research
You may be skeptical that these simple things could make a difference. And it turns out, Moskowitz was a skeptic, too. “My first reaction to anything is, ‘that’ll never work," Moskowitz says.
But after years of documenting the benefits, she’s become a convert. Of course these skills are not magic. They can’t make your stress go away or solve the source of your anxiety, but they can help you become more resilient and find more moments of happiness
Moskowitz says practicing these skills can help you build a “reservoir” of positive energy that you can draw on when it’s time to cope with challenges or annoyances.
"There’s good data that feeling positive emotions makes people happier,” says Jeff Huffman, an associate professor of psychiatry at Harvard Medical School. But he says more research is needed to understand the mechanics of positive interventions, and the long-term effects of practicing these skills.
“We don’t know if that can affect health in a durable way,” he adds.
Huffman has collaborated with Moskowitz on research on the effects of these interventions, and his lab uses many of these same skills to help patients overcome stress and make healthy lifestyle changes.
There’s other research in the field of neuroscience that shows repeated practice of certain positive emotions can even change our brains.
Studies show that the parts of the brain that become activated after people are trained in empathy and compassion can start to build new connections.
Just as someone can get good at playing a sport by repeating the same motor movement over and over again, the same is true of positive emotional practices, says Jyoti Mishra, a neuroscientist at UC San Diego. "It can become a self-fulfilling positive cycle.”
Please note:
Vicky Hallett contributed reporting to this story. Editing by Jane Greenhalgh and Carmel Wroth.
Stress Less editors are Jane Greenhalgh and Carmel Wroth
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