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Seth Meyers recalls a lesson he learned at SNL for NPR's 'Wild Card'

MARY LOUISE KELLY, HOST:

Every week, a famous guest draws a card from the deck and answers a big life question on NPR's Wild Card podcast. As host of NBC's "Late Night," Seth Meyers is used to focusing on politics, current events, but for his new stand-up special on HBO, "Dad Man Walking," he talks more about his family life. And he kept the focus personal in his conversation with Wild Card host Rachel Martin,- reflecting on his early career at "Saturday Night Live."

RACHEL MARTIN, HOST:

One, two, three?

SETH MEYERS: Three.

MARTIN: Are you good at knowing when something should end?

MEYERS: Yes.

MARTIN: Relationships?

MEYERS: Uh-huh (ph).

MARTIN: Conversations?

MEYERS: Conversations, definitely.

MARTIN: Disagreements?

MEYERS: Yes, I'm very good. I once - I hope I don't get in trouble for this. My wife and my sister-in-law were fighting once, and I walked out. It was, like, during a very fraught Christmas vacation. It was like, we were all - too many people were in my in-laws' house, you know?

MARTIN: Just a classic...

MEYERS: Yeah.

MARTIN: ...Recipe for...

MEYERS: Just too many.

MARTIN: Yes.

MEYERS: And they were fighting in the hallway. And I came out and I screamed, you know, some people de-escalate.

MARTIN: (Laughter).

MEYERS: And I - they were both very taken aback. But I...

MARTIN: It's easier to end someone else's debate, fight.

MEYERS: ...I'm very good - I know when to walk away from an argument. I think I'm really good at that way. I think I - part of it is I'm, more often than not, willing to take the L.

MARTIN: Yeah.

MEYERS: Yeah.

MARTIN: That's interesting.

MEYERS: I think I'm happy to take the L in a disagreement for the purposes of moving on.

MARTIN: That's a thing I would hope to be able to teach my kids, is to have the confidence and security, emotional security...

MEYERS: Yeah.

MARTIN: ...'Cause it takes that to be able to say, I don't care enough about winning this.

MEYERS: Yes.

MARTIN: You win it, and it's OK. And I'm not giving you false winning. I'm really like...

MEYERS: Yeah.

MARTIN: ...It's OK. I'm going to walk away.

MEYERS: I - you know, another thing - I feel like I was in - I think this is true of a lot of people. I was a far more temperamental - when I was younger, and things ran very hot at "SNL." And there were definitely times where my instincts were to say something that would have been relationship-ending to people.

MARTIN: Oh, really?

MEYERS: You know, just - you're having an argument, and - you know, looking back, all shamefully petty, you know?

MARTIN: But you didn't say those things, or did you?

MEYERS: No. And one of the reasons I didn't say them is because my producer and dear friend Mike Shoemaker, who works with me now, worked with me on "SNL" - I remember once saying what - you know, I'm going to go tell so-and-so he's a you-know-what. And he used to always say, it's a long life. It's a long life. And the people that you work with here...

MARTIN: And you want a long career. Yeah.

MEYERS: Well, it's not even about career. He's like, look, the people you work with here - what you are going through with them is going to - even for the ones that aren't your favorite people, this is bonding. And you will need - for the rest of your life, you will need these relationships to remember what this time was like. And these people - more of them are going to be at your wedding than aren't. And so I'm very happy I lived by the adage of, it's a long life, because if it's somebody you think might be your friend in the future, there's no reason to burn it down in the present.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC)

MARTIN: The new special is called "Dad Man Walking." You can see it on HBO Max. It's very funny. It's worth your time. Thank you for doing this.

MEYERS: Thank you. Thank you.

(SOUNDBITE OF MUSIC) Transcript provided by NPR, Copyright NPR.

NPR transcripts are created on a rush deadline by an NPR contractor. This text may not be in its final form and may be updated or revised in the future. Accuracy and availability may vary. The authoritative record of NPR’s programming is the audio record.

Rachel Martin is a host of Morning Edition, as well as NPR's morning news podcast Up First.