If you thought this headline was the title of Miley Cyrus' memoir, you'd be mistaken; they're the stories we gathered for this week's edition of ONLY IN FLORIDA.ONLY IN FLORIDA is our weekly roundup of the strange, bizarre and just plain ridiculous headlines from right here in the Sunshine State.
ONLY IN FLORIDA do pizzas come with tasty python meat on top.
This is in response to Pizza Hut’s wild array anything goes pizzas, stuffed with hot dogs, cheeseburgers, or whatever.
Evan’s Neighborhood Pizza in Fort Myers is fighting back with its own absolute monstrosity.
They've created a special offering called "The Everglades" which is your standard cheese and tomato pizza, but with alligator meat, frogs legs and python on top.
The name is taken from the national park, as pythons have gone wild there.
Unsurprisingly, it isn't cheap; a medium pie will set you back around $45.
It will also haunt your dreams for at least a week, probably. (Huffington Post)
ONLY IN FLORIDA do police complain about their beat-up cars by posting selfies.
The Marion County Sheriff's Office is calling itself out for having shoddy equipment.
Deputies are complaining about their patrol cars, which they say are constantly breaking down.
Over the past few months, the Sheriff's Office has posted several pictures to Facebook of its patrol cars broken down on the side of the road.
The idea came up after a nasty battle with commissioners to get more money in the budget to buy new cars.
One photo features a car that was being towed to the county auto shop after the radiator hose blew while the deputy was driving, covering his window with fluid so he couldn't see.
Other photos showed cars that have broken down because there were as many as 200,000 miles on them. (Orlando Sentinel)
ONLY IN FLORIDA does a heist involve a premium blow-up doll.
The case of the stolen Jenna Jameson "toy" went down Dec. 1 at Inner Secrets in Vero Beach.
A worker at the business told a deputy a man walked to the counter with the Jameson doll.
The man queried her about the Jameson doll before snatching the $300 item and running out without consummating a financial transaction.
The Inner Secrets worker was working to review surveillance video to see if she could provide a close-up image of the accused sex toy thief.
Jameson, 39, is an accomplished adult film actress and author of the book How toMake Love Like a Porn Star: A Cautionary Tale. (The Smoking Gun)
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